It’s time to check your ideas of morality and emotional involvement at the door because today we’re talking about a little thing called the Booty Call.
You probably won’t find the term Booty Call in the dictionary… yet. But it seems like the phrase has slowly crept into our common vernacular, so much so that there are already rules (both written and unwritten) governing how to behave.
The Booty Call lives in a lovely grey area somewhere between the one-night-stand and the relationship and serves to supply consenting adults with a high-energy sexual release without the baggage and time involved in dating.
After conducting some strenuous research on the subject, I have gone through my field-notes in an attempt to supply you with some simple rules about the Booty Call.
Most people don’t know how to get a membership and maintain it for as long as possible. The main reason is because most folks don’t understand that there are a few rules that must be followed in order to prevent themselves from getting the boot instead of the call.
open your eyes
The secret to keeping your booty call privileges is to avoid encouraging any misunderstandings or promoting any false assumptions that lead to emotional confusion.
You must understand the origins of the booty call and which key ingredients are required to keep the recipe tasting delicious rather than malicious. Once you have the know-how down pat, it will be easier to follow the etiquette that is called booty.
In today’s fast-paced world, people have less time to commit to a relationship or even date, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t have a partner to satisfy their primal needs: sexual intercourse.
Let me tell you a little secret: women are just as horny as men. This does not mean that they’re all horizontally accessible. Au contraire , they need a steady lover who will satisfy their sexual needs with little or no strings attached. By doing so, these nice women will avoid the sleazy reputation that goes along with a one-night stand.
So you want to volunteer your services? That shouldn’t be a problem. All you need to know is where to begin your search. A woman looking to get busy with it is usually:
A- With a single stale -mate
B- Recently dumped
C- In-between boyfriends (or girlfriends: wink, wink)
D- A friend
E- A one-night stand who enjoyed your services and is back for more
F- All of the above
So… you’ve called your Booty Call Cohort (BCC) every Saturday night for the past two months? Bad move! The key to successful Booty Calling is to keep things uncomplicated, relaxed and elastic. If you make the call on a schedule, things are going to get very stale very fast.
If your BCC stops calling you or stops accepting your calls, don’t take it personally. Remember, it was never a personal relationship to begin with.
Be Open & Honest
I know this sounds dangerously like “relationship talk” but trust me, as long as you and your BCC know where things stand right off the top, and then you won’t have to deal with any real relationship talks later on. Just be tactful and make sure that you’re both on the same page.
And Need I say more….
It’s the 21st century: should I really have to go into this? Just remember to protect yourself so you can enjoy Booty Calls well into your golden years.
With honesty and self-respect inserted into the booty call, the two can continue like rabbits until the cows come home without ever feeling an emotional slight, or the pressure and guilt linked with having to purposely slight their partner. With this pressure release, the two need not fear simple polite gestures anymore. Manners no longer need to be thrown out the window to enjoy a healthy, purely sexual relationship. This means that sleeping into the morning isn’t going to “change things”. Going out for a pre-game drink, or sharing a simple post-game kiss isn’t going to ruin the complexion of the booty call. RELAX…!!!
Why demean either partner for the sake of good sex? If you both are clear about what you’re there for and what you want, there’s no need to create a human disconnect after you get it. Intentionally stepping on someone on your way out the door as a means of preserving the sexual relationship you’re in is ridiculous. If anything, the callous exit only shortens the shelf-life of a booty call and limits your possibilities of enjoying future men or women.