who took the labels off my medication?

This is so Awesome. On so many levels. Deep Purple - Smoke on...

Tue, 29 May 2012 17:15:31 -0400

This is so Awesome. On so many levels. Deep Purple - Smoke on the water - 1973 (Live USA) (by camforelas)

When I’m bored…

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 04:30:17 -0400

When I’m bored…

Sing it.

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 04:24:49 -0400

Sing it.

Has anybody tried this?

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 03:46:51 -0400

Has anybody tried this?

Pretty Awesome… collegehumor: Gender Role Reversal...

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:16:59 -0500

Pretty Awesome…

collegehumor:

Gender Role Reversal Dating

“Does this mustache make me look fat?”

funnyordie: How Did This Get Made? Cool as Ice Weird biker...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:35:00 -0500

funnyordie:

How Did This Get Made? Cool as Ice

Weird biker gangs, inexplicable love stories and the Witness Protection Program flesh out what is essentially a feature-length hip-hop music video starring Vanilla Ice.

My inner Hipster released

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:02:56 -0500

My inner Hipster released

I really need my meds….

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:01:31 -0500

I really need my meds….

basketball round

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:00:21 -0500

basketball round

I’m watching you…

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:59:06 -0500

I’m watching you…

http://blogs.laweekly.com/arts/2012/02/bars_get_laid_sex_slutty.php

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:45:39 -0500

http://blogs.laweekly.com/arts/2012/02/bars_get_laid_sex_slutty.php:

I will be hitting up everyone of these bars and reporting back on what happens…Stay tuned! ;)

My New Mantra…

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:29:00 -0500

My New Mantra…

My cat 8Ball will always silently judge you…

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:27:00 -0500

My cat 8Ball will always silently judge you…

Can One Become A Classy Whore????

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:58:00 -0500

This question kept running thru my head all day. No really, one has to say that unless you have the aspiring dream to become a nun or the new Pope….oh wait that position is filled. Sorry, we’ll keep your application on file and call you when we have an opening…..(sorry, I tend to drift off into mini-stories, so bear with me). Ok, where was I…oh yeah, becoming a whore. If anyone really knows me “cunt” is my favorite word. Well Whore is my second runner-up. I believe it is really how you use the tone to express the word. But today I was resting and drifting off and thinking how since I’ve moved out here to L.A. it has been really somewhat “Sexless in the City” for me. (Now put away your tissues this is not a sad story…..but keep it around because you might need it for other things.) Now I have meet some “interesting” applicants but no one that gets my engine revving (did I really use a car sound as a metaphor?? eww) Now I know the “applicant” sounds harsh but hear/read me out. I treat EVERYONE like an applicant. I’m an EOE. (Equal Opportunity Employer) So everyone starts off pending than some are approve and others…well it’s the same comments as with the Pope position. It’s like giving someone a blank page and saying “write how you want me to perceive you”. See, this really works out because I have met some girls/guys that people would be like “oh, she/he is so slutty, don’t hang with them, they might get you a rep.” When in actuality they could be the sweetest and coolest human being one could meet. They just embrace their sexuality and are very “open” with expressing it. While I’ve have meet some “girl/guy next-door” type and they ended up being the one with the serious mental problems—like let’s go cut ourselves????? Um…no that’s ok, I like my skin smooth.

So why is the “whore” thing running thru my mind???? Well with current situations that has happen, I tend to reflex on what I have and have not done in the past year. This helps me keep moving forward and to learn from my mistakes. But as I grow “older” I have ALWAYS had this question on my mind. What if I wake up one day and decide to hell with it…I’m going to become a whore. How does one start. Now of course the obvious is start sleeping with a bunch of people but naw that is SO 1989. I want to re-define the label. Like how GUESS re-defines the look that DIOR created 30 years ago. (Cough) I want people to be like “wow, that girl is out there but with class”. This leads me to create the “Classy Whore”. So, ok I got the title but now I need to add some meat around it. What would be the qualification of a CW? (hee hee “CW” sounds good) . This I think should become a case study for… lets say around 30 days????? Now granted I have to call in some favors, so the results of this will be a little off. Chicago being my original playing field, I know my turf. L.A. is still really new to me but no one knows me, so how I “present” myself can be a great advantage.

I accept any and all suggestions on how to hatch out the study and I promise that I will report back here with truthful results. So until the next time….I think my batteries are charged now and I have a bottle of wine waiting for me…

Booty Call Etiquette

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:55:00 -0500

It’s time to check your ideas of morality and emotional involvement at the door because today we’re talking about a little thing called the Booty Call.
You probably won’t find the term Booty Call in the dictionary… yet. But it seems like the phrase has slowly crept into our common vernacular, so much so that there are already rules (both written and unwritten) governing how to behave.
The Booty Call lives in a lovely grey area somewhere between the one-night-stand and the relationship and serves to supply consenting adults with a high-energy sexual release without the baggage and time involved in dating.
After conducting some strenuous research on the subject, I have gone through my field-notes in an attempt to supply you with some simple rules about the Booty Call.
Most people don’t know how to get a membership and maintain it for as long as possible. The main reason is because most folks don’t understand that there are a few rules that must be followed in order to prevent themselves from getting the boot instead of the call.
open your eyes
The secret to keeping your booty call privileges is to avoid encouraging any misunderstandings or promoting any false assumptions that lead to emotional confusion.
You must understand the origins of the booty call and which key ingredients are required to keep the recipe tasting delicious rather than malicious. Once you have the know-how down pat, it will be easier to follow the etiquette that is called booty.
the target
In today’s fast-paced world, people have less time to commit to a relationship or even date, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t have a partner to satisfy their primal needs: sexual intercourse.
Let me tell you a little secret: women are just as horny as men. This does not mean that they’re all horizontally accessible. Au contraire , they need a steady lover who will satisfy their sexual needs with little or no strings attached. By doing so, these nice women will avoid the sleazy reputation that goes along with a one-night stand.
So you want to volunteer your services? That shouldn’t be a problem. All you need to know is where to begin your search. A woman looking to get busy with it is usually:

A- With a single stale -mate
B- Recently dumped
C- In-between boyfriends (or girlfriends: wink, wink)
D- A friend
E- A one-night stand who enjoyed your services and is back for more
F- All of the above
No Timetables
So… you’ve called your Booty Call Cohort (BCC) every Saturday night for the past two months? Bad move! The key to successful Booty Calling is to keep things uncomplicated, relaxed and elastic. If you make the call on a schedule, things are going to get very stale very fast.
Expect Nothing
If your BCC stops calling you or stops accepting your calls, don’t take it personally. Remember, it was never a personal relationship to begin with.
Be Open & Honest
I know this sounds dangerously like “relationship talk” but trust me, as long as you and your BCC know where things stand right off the top, and then you won’t have to deal with any real relationship talks later on. Just be tactful and make sure that you’re both on the same page.
And Need I say more….
It’s the 21st century: should I really have to go into this? Just remember to protect yourself so you can enjoy Booty Calls well into your golden years.
With honesty and self-respect inserted into the booty call, the two can continue like rabbits until the cows come home without ever feeling an emotional slight, or the pressure and guilt linked with having to purposely slight their partner. With this pressure release, the two need not fear simple polite gestures anymore. Manners no longer need to be thrown out the window to enjoy a healthy, purely sexual relationship. This means that sleeping into the morning isn’t going to “change things”. Going out for a pre-game drink, or sharing a simple post-game kiss isn’t going to ruin the complexion of the booty call. RELAX…!!!

Why demean either partner for the sake of good sex? If you both are clear about what you’re there for and what you want, there’s no need to create a human disconnect after you get it. Intentionally stepping on someone on your way out the door as a means of preserving the sexual relationship you’re in is ridiculous. If anything, the callous exit only shortens the shelf-life of a booty call and limits your possibilities of enjoying future men or women.
Be Safe

1st Porn Party

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:53:00 -0500

Ok so I went to my first porn party back in 05. And I have to say that either I’m one freaky ass girl or this party was stale. Me and my co-worker from BB decided that we should go to this party because A: the director looked like Jack Osbourn at the time (and my co-worker Loves….no better yet lust after Jack) and B: because I love porn (those who knows me knows this is true). So we go and get all cute for this shin-dig. Now really what does one wear to this kind of event???? Do you where something slutty to fit in or do you go causal to blend in??? See really, these are the questions in life that a mother needs to sit her daughter down and explain. Anywho, we show up and it was not free as stated (which I found out is a common lie out here in LA) and since we paid we did score some nice grab bags. Well all I can say is that other than getting a hug from the director (who was shocked to see us-another common myth in LA: saying that you will show up to an event) and the drag queen that kept looking at me like she/he wanted to fight, it was a pretty busted night. Most the girls there were EMO type girls. (Meaning that they were under-weight punk girls) Lets just say that me and my co-worker had the biggest racks in the place…..well other than the drag queen. Hum, maybe that is why she/he wanted to fight??? Sorry guys, but there were no HOT ladies in the house. *Side Note: None of the girls who were there are no longer in the Adult Industry as of 2010* Now the only good-looking guys that were there…..were the ones in the actually film. The others guys looked like they came from the under-path and just was looking for a warm place to hang. So as me and my co-worker were chilling at the bar drinking our Luke-warm beer I started a convo with one of the actors in the film. Nice looking guy (around 27, could have been voted Popular Boy Next Door) and friendly over-all. We stop talking so we could watch the “show” that was on—- A guy and girl dressed up like rabbits pretending to have sex (1st introduction to Furry Sex). Yes, it was as if this couple got fired from a kids show and picked this promo to make some cash. As we were watching two grown adults dry hump each other. On the screen they started showing selective parts from the film. So after the “show” the guy started talking to me again. It was REALLY odd to talk to someone when you just watch him bang two girls on the big screen. ALL I keep thinking was “WOW, can you cum on command!?!” And with that I was ready to go. Why???? Because knowing my luck in life if (And I mean BIG IF) I would end up on some amateur site. GREAT! As if I wanted to be remembered by THAT! Only the top paying site for this girl…wait…what!?! Oh well, I called my friend that does make-up for porn stars (that is another blog) and told her what had happen and she took me to a couple of new releases from her company that actually has stars that been “around” so the experience was completely different. As If I had a foundation on how a porn party should be. LOL AHHH, what can I say, Love em or Leave em. Well folks, until the next adventure, please stay tune to see what our hero did next. CHEERS!!!!

To Break A Habit

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:47:00 -0500

*This was Written back in April of 2005*

Dear Sweet Valley High aka Diary:

So I just moved out here to Los Angeles and so far I’ve done more in the last 30 days then my friends that moved out here back in August. Now this whole move thing was scary as hell. Scary like I had to put my head between my knees to breathe. And then notice that I really need to try waxing instead of shaving (tend to miss spots). No really, I woke up the day before I was leaving, sat up in my bed looked around and started crying (I’m NOT much of a crier) Maybe the whole get ready to move before I left somehow put my life on fast forward. Major D.R.A.M.A. for your mama happened the last three weeks before I left. The guy in my life flipped out on me one week and then was cool the next. (fucking gave me flash back—THANKS bi-polar FUCKER) Or it could be the drugs, alcohol or even the lines of Tang that I’ve done. Screw the adding water to it…hit it hardcore. I’m really too damn old to act like I’m trippin’ at a prom. (If only I could remember my prom date’s name) Let’s see… I had to break into my friends’ apt. that I was staying with cuz she couldn’t pick me up from the train station. (She had a walk-thru on “Las Vegas”–fucking actors) Yes, I took the bloody train (44 hours passing before my eyes) I found religion and lost it again during the train ride. What? The Pope died? Really? Moving on…It could have been the guy that looked like he just escape a case on COPS staring at me ( I mean trailer trash, wife-beater tee-shirt, missing teeth, wearing a gold? Dollar sign chain) this guy looked like the type that the cops would have to wrestle down to the ground. Or the guy and girl who just met and decided to give each other hand jobs while everyone was sleeping. Oh yeah, I can’t sleep on moving cars/trains/buses. Maybe it was me landing a place (for 3 to 4 month) in the ghetto. I love to tell people where I live because their eyes get REAL big and they ask if I carry I knife? As if there was a sign that said “Stop! Don’t live here or you will be Shot!” than maybe I wouldn’t agree to take the place. I live in “K-town” (Korean town or Korean/little Mexico town) I’m the tallest person around here. When a stranger tells you that you look good to bear kids…It time to get the fuck out of dodge. Back to my ranting…. Here is a snapshot of what I’ve done:

Been to Kelly Osborne’s Fashion show (yup, me and a bunch of 100 pound girls…I missed on the invite where it said to bring your own spoon) You think I’m kidding??? I was talking to this girl and she excused herself to go to the bathroom and since I had to go, I followed her in, and heard her throwing up….SHE WAS NOT DRUNK.
Gone to the Rainbow (where I met a couple of cool Adult Industry Directors but when you walked into the bathroom, it becomes a scene from “Traffic”)
Gone on a date (hang-out?)w/ a girl (great girl—-took me an art fair. We ended up hanging at a Denny like cafe afterward till 4:30 in the morning talking! She picked me up at 8:30pm. That was the Longest date that didn’t involve sex in my life) And she wanted a serious relationship after two dates.
Was on stage w/ Digital Underground (rap group from the 90’s) It’s funny how you can stand next to Shock G (the rapper) and know that you had a crush on him 10 years ago and walk away from becoming a groupie.
Went to the Three of Club (see “Swingers”) it was so dark that I had to use my phone to find the bathroom. (Why did I wear heels, again?) It was like lets turn off ALL the lights and light 1(one) candle—oh sexy! NOT!
Went to the Abbey (where I was hit on by both this Asian girl in front of me and this blond chick behind me as I waited to go to the bathroom)
Got lost trying to find the Abbey and end up in Beverly Hills (I was walking) and as I was back-tracking I went up to the short heavy-set man to ask for direction and tap his shoulder for him to turn around and it be Ron Jeremy.
To go over to a friend’s house the next day and met his female roommate who does make-up for porn stars and is the representative for Ron Jeremy.

To top this LONG (thanks for sticking it out) story off I’ve been invited to my first porn party this Thursday. So I guess the adventure is still moving forward. Maybe I should stay away from bathrooms—that seems to be my downfall. Oh and by the way I’ve only been here for a month as of yesterday. (Smooth Right!?!) Well Smooches Until the next saga…